


Kyungchul AU ideas that (probably) aren't ever going to be completed

by kadzubar



Category: Buzz (Korea Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 01:48:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29428374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kadzubar/pseuds/kadzubar
Summary: What it says on the tin. Snippets of Kyungchul AU fics that will probably go nowhere because I'm a pro at not finishing what I start.
Relationships: Kim Heechul/Min Kyunghoon
Kudos: 6





	1. The Joseon era genderswap AU

For as long as Heemi has known her, Kyungyoon has been different. She is at one and the same time the most compliant and yet most stubborn person Heemi has ever met. There is a purity to her that neither careful training nor free handed whippings have managed to erase. So Heemi’s not sure what to think when, three nights before the wedding, she hears a scratching at her window and unbars the shutters to find Kyungyoon looking up at her from below the sill, hair tucked under her brother’s cap and a bundle tied to her back over her too large jacket. 

“Come with me,” Kyungyoon says and for a wild moment Heemi imagines it. If they take the horses, they can be in Changwon by morning. She has more than enough in the hidden compartment of her drawer for passage for two across the sea, and then… the world she’s always dreamed of with the one she’s always dreamed of being with. But even as she thinks this she knows she won’t. It would destroy her family, ruin her clan, and that, she knows, is too high a price to pay for mere happiness.


	2. The ghost AU

Kyunghoon absolutely wasn’t afraid of ghosts. Sure, he always jumped at the jump scares in horror movies no matter how telegraphed they were, and yes, he’d been the one voted easiest to scare by the other members in that one Mnet interview, but that just meant he was easily startled. It certainly didn’t mean he was afraid of the supernatural.

“I’m not afraid of ghosts,” he said out loud, just in case saying things out loud made them more true. Not that he needed that statement to be more true of course, since he wasn’t scared to begin with.

“That’s good,” the ghost sighed, sending out a wave of creeping chill that cut straight through his winter jacket to settle into Kyunghoon’s bones. “That will certainly make it easier for us to work together then.” Its outline flickered like static on an old TV with bad reception.

Kyunghoon wrapped his arms around himself in a futile effort to ward off the cold. “If,” he essayed hesitantly, “if I was afraid, would you maybe go find someone else to work with instead?” 

“Hypothetically of course,” he added quickly, in case the act of admitting fear might allow the ghost to invade his body and eat his soul or something.

The ghost sighed again, dropping the temperature by another few degrees. Kyunghoon shivered and thought wistfully of the heat pads he hadn’t bother to pack into his bag that day. “Sorry, but I can’t do that,” it said regretfully, or at least what Kyunghoon assumed was regretfully. It was hard to tell when everything it said sounded like the rustling of dried leaves across the ground. “I’ve tried talking to a ton of people and you’re the only one who can see me.” 

Kyunghoon sighed himself at that. Why hadn’t he controlled himself instead of screaming like a fool at the disembodied head that had popped out of the wall next to his face? “So what exactly do you need me to do anyway?” He asked. Maybe it was something easy like burning incense or cleaning its neglected grave, he thought hopefully.

“I need you,” the ghost said, sending out wisps of ice that wrapped themselves around Kyunghoon, “to help me find my body.”


	3. The Buzz setup AU

Thunder roared like two titans clashing in the heavens and lightning tore through the night sky in brilliant flashes, punctuating the torrent of rain that pounded the earth as if attempting to wash away the wicked city in a re-enactment of the great flood. In a darkened room, four men sat at a table, their faces lit only by the flickering glow of eldritch devices.

“Brothers,” the tallest figure hissed, the sibilant sound issuing from a throat long unused. The figure paused and cleared his throat. “Hyung, should we really have let Kyunghoonie go to look for the circuit breaker by himself? What if he trips over something in the dark and falls down? His jeans have got holes in them! What if he skins his knees?” Sunghee bit his lip in worry.

“I’m sure he’ll be fine,” Yejun said. “Kyunghoon isn’t a baby…” the other three men stared at him in incomprehension.

Yujun sighed, “Look, he’s got his phone with him and if he gets into any trouble he can always give us a call. He goes camping by himself all the time and he’s never had any problems…” Yejun hesitated, “…I mean, he’s always managed to find his way out in the end. It’ll be fine.”

Reassured by this unassailable logic the other members relaxed back into their chairs and went back to staring at their phone screens.

“What about Kim Soeun?” Woohyun asked, proffering his screen for inspection. “Didn’t Kyunghoon say she was his ideal type once?”

Junki gazed at the image critically, “well she’s certainly pretty.” He tapped his lip thoughtfully, “do we know what her personality is like?”

“…”

“… she seems nice in interviews?”

“Let’s put her in the maybe pile for now.”

Yejun looked at the maybe-list that he was keeping and sighed, it was 20 names long. “OK, guys, this is getting us nowhere. We can’t just keep doing searches for pretty celebrities.”

“OR,” he added as Junki opened his mouth, “searches for celebrities with good bodies.” Sunghee and Woohyun silently deleted the search terms they had been typing in.

“Let’s list down the qualities we want for Kyunghoonie’s partner and go based on that, ok?”

“How about someone who Kyunghoonie’s shown interest in before?” Sunghee suggested, chewing on his bottom lip thoughtfully. “At least that way we’ll know he’d be interested.”

“Hmm,” Woohyun rubbed his chin, “if we’re talking about people he’s interested in, Kyunghoonie’s always had a thing for noonas and hyungs.”

Junki nodded, “he likes being babied and looked after, so someone who can take care of him.”

“And I think it has to be someone who can appreciate his sense of humour.”

“Oh yeah, someone who’s personality he really clicks with and can talk to.”

“Oooo, good one hyung. Then how about someone who he can go camping with? You know someone that’s kinda athletic and likes the outdoors.”

“Shared interests, I like it! In that case how about someone who’s into gaming?”

“Oh, very nice. Then what about someone who would match with his personality type, you know someone who’s a bit of a homebody.”

“Yes! But they do say opposites attract. So, what about if they’re also outgoing and have a ton of friends...”

“Right, ok.” Yejun looked up from several minutes of furious typing. “We’re looking for a hyung or noona who Kyunghoonie’s shown interest in, someone who he clicks with and who likes his sense of humour, is hot with a good body, athletic and outdoorsy, likes gaming, is outgoing but also a homebody, who likes looking after people but also occasionally wants to be protected, likes animals but also doesn’t own pets, who’s kind and gives to charity, has good fashion sense, loves jigae and small children and would be open to babysitting, is good with electronics, makes French toast and Italian pasta, knows how to put up a shelf, and would be able to install a Linux OS on Woohyun’s PC …”

The band hesitated, “...I’m sure we can find someone who-”

“And,” Yejun added meaningfully, “someone we can actually get a hold of and set Kyunghoon up with.”

“…maybe we don’t need to hit every single criteria on that list?”

In the end, they boiled it down to one Kim Heechul, whom Sunghee had exchanged numbers with way back in 06, when they had guested on a radio show together, and who had conscientiously and rather inexplicably kept Sunghee updated every time he had changed numbers since.

It turned out that being virtual show biz recluses, while good for not getting caught up in the pitfalls of fame and the swamp of celebrity scandal, was not so great for building up a large collection of contacts whom they could set up with their youngest member.


	4. The ghost AU part 2

Looking for dead bodies, Kyunghoon discovered, was every bit as hard as it had sounded when the ghost had asked for his help two weeks ago. Disappointingly, bodies whose locations could be found from a quick trawl of the local obituary notices were not the type ghosts needed the help of the living to find (presumably because they could scroll through the obituary notices for themselves). Instead, the type they needed help with were the ones that had mysteriously gone missing three months ago (last known getting into a taxi after a night of drinking with friends) and which had not been seen since. 

Kyunghoon swiveled his chair away from the screen and sighed, “I don’t see how I’m supposed to find your body when both the police and your fans can’t,” he said. “I mean your fans are crazy! They’ve literally offered a hundred million won reward to anyone with info. If there was anything to find, they would have found it already.”

“But they don’t have me,” the ghost said. They perched themselves on the corner of Kyunghoon’s desk and crossed their legs elegantly. “I can give you the inside scoop.” 

Kyunghoon rolled his eyes and gave the ghost his best pout, “Inside scoop my ass. It took you five days to tell me that you’re Super Junior’s Universe Big Star Kim Heechul. I spent ages looking through news reports from 50 years ago!” 

Heechul flickered in contrition, probably, or maybe it was atmospheric interference, it was hard to tell sometimes. “I told you, my memory is still kinda fuzzy but it’s coming back- wait, you knew about me?” he asked in, what was, as far as Kyunghoon was concerned, an unfair attempt at changing the topic. 

“...yes,” Kyunghoon said. He wasn’t exactly lying, after all, he knew Super Junior. He probably even still had Leetuk’s phone number somewhere. He’d just needed to refresh his memory a little by reading through the articles and comments on Heechul’s disappearance, but he wasn’t about to tell Heechul that.

“Anyway hyung,” he continued quickly, because it looked like Heechul wanted to call him on it, “stop trying to change the subject! I was scared shitless you were some kind of creepy ghost that was going to suck out my soul or something.”

Heechul grinned fondly, “Kyunghoonah, you’re such a bad liar. And I am a ghost.” He reached out a hand teasingly, “I could still suck out your soul.”

Kyunghoon snorted, “Go ahead and try.” It was hard to be afraid of a guy who sang along to all the songs on your playlist and perfectly did all the girl group dances besides. And anyway, Heechul had told him that he was a fan of Buzz and that his favourite song was Tree (before, Kyunghoon would like to point out, he had told him his identity). That had earned Heechul a huge chunk of goodwill, but Kyunghoon wasn’t about to tell Heechul that either.

“You don’t even look like a ghost anymore,” Kyunghoon said instead, and that was true. Heechul had firmed up a lot since they had first met, and aside from the occasional flicker, he looked like a normal, solid, (albeit extremely good-looking) guy. Sometimes Kyunghoon forgot that Heechul was actually a ghost at all and not just a new friend he happened to be spending a lot of time with.

Kyunghoon pulled his legs up to his chest and propped his chin on a hand, regarding Heechul curiously, “How come you’re so much more solid now than when we first met?”

“I don’t know.” Heechul brought his hand up in front of his face and stared at it. “I feel a lot more solid now too.” He frowned, “Maybe I really am sucking out your soul.”

He looked so upset at the thought that Kyunghoon reached out without thinking and grabbed his hand, lacing their fingers together. “You’re not sucking out my soul hyung,” he said firmly. “I’m sure I’d know if-,” he stopped, blinked, stared at their clasped hands, blinked again, and looked at Heechul who was also staring at their joined hands. “How-”

“I don’t know,” Heechul said. He looked at Kyunghoon and flickered uncertainly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would have written a bit more but I decided to amuse myself by ending on one of those soap opera cliffhangers that get resolved straight away in the next episode. I obviously need another hobby.


	5. the Joseon era genderswap AU part deux

Heemi wakes to the sound of bird song and a terrible pounding headache, she wakes to the rattling of a cart that threatens to shake the teeth out of her skull, but most of all she wakes to a feeling of relief so strong that try as she might she can’t stop the tears that slip from her eyes unwelcome and unbidden. 

A cloth, familiar with the scent of peaches and straw, drapes itself over her eyes, blocking out the searing red rays that burn through her eyelids, and gently pats away her tears. 

Heemi reaches up and catches at the hand that presses at the cloth over her eyes, soft and blessedly cool. “I can’t believe you drugged me,” she croaks. “What were you thinking?!” 

The fingers she is clutching at curl around her own. “I was thinking,” Kyungyoon says, “that I wanted you to be happy.”


	6. The Joseon era genderswap AU part trois

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Really, why am I writing more of this I wonder, it's definitely not going to go anywhere.

The cart driver drops them off outside small town somewhere between their clan’s estates and Changwon. Kyungyoon thanks him prettily with a deep bow and a dimpled smile, and is rewarded with a bag of apples, a fatherly pat on the head, and a stern injunction not to allow unscrupulous men take advantage of innocent young girls.

  
“Now what?,” Heemi asks, once the cart has finally disappeared, obscured by the tall softly waving rice fields that blanket the countryside in late summer.

  
“Now noona, we go into town and see if we can’t book passage to Changwon.” The smile that Kyungyoon gives Heemi is so brilliant, so beautiful, that for a moment she forgets what it is to breathe. Heemi reaches out and cups that exquisite face in her hands and runs her fingers over deeply dimpled cheeks, then she digs her thumbs into those dimples eliciting a pained yelp.

“Oww! Unnie! What was that for?” Heemi can feel the pout that forms under her fingers.

  
“You dare ask when you drugged me and made me ride in a rickety headache-inducing cart for hours?”

  
“But unnie,” Kyungyoon looks at her pathetically, soft brown eyes glisten with unshed tears, “you wouldn’t have come otherwise.”

  
For a moment her heart wavers but then she remembers just what it is that Kyungyoon has done and digs her thumbs in deeper. “There was a reason for that,” she snaps hardening her heart. “Our clan-”

  
“Our clan will be fine,” Kyungyoon says firmly, and her hands come up to cover Heemi’s. “Our clan will be fine whether you marry Park Jinyoung or not but you wouldn’t be, and I care more about your happiness than our clan gaining a little more power and prestige.”

  
Heemi stares at the determined jut of Kyungyoon’s jaw, ridiculous between her clenched fingers, and finally drips her hands. “You’re crazy,” she says and can’t quite stop the puff of laughter that escapes her lips. "What makes you think this will make me happy?"

  
Kyungyoon smiles, lovely and endearing, the blessed relief of a cool pool on a hot summer’s day. “Because you love me,” she says and squeezes Heemi’s hands, still caught in hers.

  
“I can’t imagine why,” Heemi says sniffing disdainfully, “this is such a stupid plan. What are you even supposed to be?” she asks, the wave of her arm encompassing the entirety of Kyungyoon’s outfit.

  
“What, can’t you tell noona?” Kyunyoon asks, spinning around to allow Heemi to take in the full effect of her stolen outfit.

  
It is indeed a sight to behold. Kyungyoon might be tall for a girl but Min Kyungjin was blessed with enviable height in addition to his other numerous gifts and Kyungyoon looks like exactly what she is, a girl playing dress-up in her brother’s clothes.

  
The proud smirk she pairs with her spin is too much for Heemi’s haughty facade and she breaks out into a fit of unladylike cackling. “No one is going to believe you’re a man or even a boy,” she gasps when she finally manages to regain some semblance of composure “Your clothes don’t even fit. And you’re far too pretty to be mistaken for a boy anyway.”

  
The pout Kyungyoon gives her comes dangerously close to sending her into another fit of laughter. “Help me fix it then unnie,” she says flapping her too long sleeves at Heemi. “And I’m not too pretty. My brother-”

  
“Your brother,” Heemi interrupts, “is not human. He’s a fairy that was mistakenly swapped in the cradle at birth and absolutely cannot be used as a measurement of what’s normal.”

  
“But he’s still a man,” Kyungyoon argues with her trademark stubbornness, “and it would be too dangerous for two girls to travel alone. And you can’t do it, you’re even prettier than I am. So unnie…,” and here she gives Heemi her most pleading look, the one that Heemi has never had any defence against.

  
Heemi sighs and goes to do her bidding.


End file.
